


Coming Out

by Bagarella25



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mention of Oikawa, Post-Time Skip, he is a huge dork though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23826643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bagarella25/pseuds/Bagarella25
Summary: Hanamaki knows he's gay since middle school. He comes out to his friends just after high school graduation.Matsukawa begins to question his sexuality and his feelings for his friend.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei
Comments: 8
Kudos: 118





	Coming Out

**Author's Note:**

> This fic started as a very self indulgent twitter thread but I ended up editing it a lot and now I'm ok with what I got so... there you go. I hope you'll like it!
> 
> (edited: 9/19/20)

Hanamaki has known he's gay ever since middle school. He came out to his friends just after their high school graduation. Since then, he's been proud of his sexuality and he doesn't hide it anymore. At first, Matsukawa was uncomfortable with the whole rainbow shirts, nail polish and chokers upgrade, but now he likes how his best friend looks happy and at peace with himself.

As Makki is stepping into the young adult student life he wants to explore new places and make new friends. He began to hang out in queer bars with Mattsun, who has been his best friend for what feels like an eternity now. If he asked him, he would probably follow him to the end of the world. But Mattsun feels out of place, he is afraid he won’t fit. Of course soon he realises that, one: nobody cares and two: the people who come talk to them are very kind with Makki and him. They seem as eager as Makki to make new friends. Maybe those kind of bars are the only few places queer people can hang out together without being bothered, Mattsun thinks. Actually, nobody seems to want to just hit on any of them.

Mattsun starts to like the laid back atmosphere and the innocent chats he gets in those places.

But one day, on a Thursday night, a very loud guy catches Makki's attention and comes over to their table. He is tall and lean. He has bleached blond hair with an undercut, and Mattsun thinks he saw something shiny in the man's mouth. A tongue piercing maybe? He is totally Makki's type, Mattsun thinks he is the kind of guy who is full of himself.

And he doesn't like it.

The guy introduces himself as Yūji. No last name, Mattsun notices, it might be a way to protect his identity. Or maybe he's just rude, who knows. He and Makki begin to talk, the conversation is light and cheerful. Mattsun intervenes from time to time but prefers to observe the guy, analyzing him without giving away any emotions.

It’s always how it’s been between them, Makki talks while Mattsun judges people with a poker face. And he can see the way the blond is looking at Makki right now, like he is some kind of prize to win, with a satisfied smirk on his face.

And he doesn't like it.

After a while, Yūji turns towards Mattsun. Maybe he's bugged by the fact that he's analysed like he's a sample lying under a microscope.

With this same shitty smirk refusing to leave his face, he asks, "And you pretty boy, what are you here for?"

Mattsun is caught off guard by suddenly being the center of attention. He doesn't know what to answer. It seems lame to say that he is here to escort his best friend and help him meet new people. So he says that he is here for nothing except the good company, pointing at Makki with his glass in hand, nudging his bicep with his elbow.

The guy leans back a little and eyes them thoroughly. "I'm sorry, did I interrupt something here?"

Makki is the one who answers. "No don't worry, we're just friends. Best friends actually."

"Neat! I’m glad to hear it. Does this mean I can have your phone number pretty boy?"

Looking down at his glass, Mattsun represses a snort. Makki doesn't answer immediately. After a few seconds Mattsun looks up and realises Yūji is still facing him. He is looking at him, not Makki.

"Ah? You mean me?" Mattsun feels his face growing red and his hands getting sweaty. Suddenly the music is too loud and the room is too dark.

"Yes, I mean you!" the man chuckles "I kind of like your I-don't-care-what-people-think-about-me attitude, it's sexy".

This time, Mattsun snorts for real. He mumbles a "thank you" which comes off way more shy than he intended to.

He glances at Makki and the boy seems uncomfortable, disappointed maybe? Mattsun never expected to be the one who gets asked out. He's not into men after all. But he doesn't want to say that, it's seems wrong or rude given the situation, being in a gay bar with an obviously gay friend... 

So he turns towards Yūji again and simply says, "No I'm sorry, I'm not searching for anything like that at the moment."

"Oh ok, no worries." The blond takes a step back. "I'll leave you to it then, I won't bother you any longer. Have a good night boys."

He walks away with a last glance at them over his shoulder, disappearing into the crowded bar. Mattsun is relieved the guy didn't push the subject any further.

After a while, Makki asks, "Why didn't you give him your number? He was cute."

Mattsun looks at his best friend with wide eyes, but he doesn't know how to answer that without pointing out the obvious and maybe upsetting him, so he says nothing.

Makki continues, "I know you never said you were gay or straight, or anything else for that matter, but I never saw you dating or flirting with anybody. I think you won't know if you don't give it a try."

Mattsun is pissed. He doesn't like his friend trying to set him up with a guy, a stranger above everything else. Of course he realises Makki is jealous because the man didn't ask for  _ his  _ phone number, so he doesn't want to be harsh on him.

Still he feels the urge to argue. Sometimes you know, you don't have to give it a try, you just know what your sexuality is and what your needs are. That would shut his big mouth. But the problem is : he actually doesn't know what he wants and saying he does, would be a lie. He could lie to his best friend, he could bury his doubts and questions under a big fat lie. But he doesn't want to. He wants someone to lend him an ear while talking about his worries and give him advice. And who could do that better than his best friend?

Instead of shutting him up, he sighs heavily to get rid of the tension, then says "I don't know. You're right. I don't know what I want. I know we never talked about it,” Mattsun locks his gaze into Makki’s, “but what's sure is that I don't want to be set up with a random guy in a bar either. And I'm sorry if you were hoping for something with him, but don't take it out on me.” He frowns and adds, “I think it's his loss not yours."

Makki doesn't answer immediately. Mattsun waits, he hopes his friend is processing the information he just gave him. But then Makki's lips curl into a smile as he says, "What do you think, should we call it a night? Maybe for once we will be able to wake up on time for morning classes."

Mattsun snorts, more by surprise of his friend's answer than the joke. Maybe the bar is not the best place to talk about that anyway.

"Or we could spend the night playing video games and wake up for afternoon classes." He deadpans.

Makki grins. "Yeah much better."

They leave the bar and head toward the station together. They walk saying nothing for a while, their breaths puffing little mist clouds in the winter night's cold. Makki is the first to speak.

"I'm sorry, you know I wasn't serious earlier, I didn't want to imply anything. If you don't want to date people that's your choice."

"No, it's not that. It's just..." Mattsun sighs heavily for the second time this evening. He really isn't one to talk about his feelings. Makki is, always was. "I want to date people, I think. It's just that I didn't find anyone I would like to spend time with yet. I've liked some people, I even found them pretty, but no one was interesting enough to make me want to spend time with them.” He snorts, “I always preferred playing video games with you anyway."

It was true, he always preferred Makki's company. All this time, despite everyone or anyone, it has always been Makki. And this is where it strikes him. And looking at Makki's face, it strikes both of them.

"I mean..." Mattsun begins in a poor attempt at lessening the weight of his words.

But then he realises yet again that he is talking to his best friend and that there's no need to lie to him. "I mean, yeah, I think I always liked you better." He looks away and scratches the back of his head with one hand feeling his face burning up.

Then, he adds, "I think I like you Makki, I always liked you."

Makki stops walking, looking at him with wide eyes. Mattsun doesn't know what to do or say. They stay like this for several minutes,  _ way too many minutes _ thinks Mattsun. Something is wrong and he is growing nervous, but suddenly Makki lets out a snort and he begins to laugh.

"What? What is it? Why are you laughing?"

Mattsun doesn't know what is happening, but Makki laughs harder and louder. Mattsun is upset now, how dare he laugh at his confession?

"All right, all right I get it,” Mattsun crosses his arms on his chest, ”I'm sorry if my feelings are a joke to you."

Makki suddenly gasps and stops laughing, "No no no no! I'm sorry I didn't mean... Oh fuck sorry Mattsun it's just that you don't know why it's funny, but I can assure you it is."

"So why is it so funny??" Mattsun never felt that vulnerable in his whole life and he hates it. He never thought it would ever be because of Makki.

Makki takes a second to collect himself up, then asks "Ok, remember when I made my coming out to you and Iwaizumi and Oikawa ?"

"Yes." Mattsun answers, even if he doesn't know where this story is going.

"You all told me you had no problem with it, that it was ok and that I could love whomever I wanted. You were all so nice about it, it was perfect. In fact, it was the best coming out ever. I was truly lucky, you were very respectful, none of you asked weird or embarrassing questions."

"Makki please... put me out of my misery here." Mattsun pleaded.

"Well, it's funny because you were so respectful that you never asked what people usually ask. You know, all those embarrassing questions.  _ How did you know it? _ , or  _ Are you sure? _ , or  _ Do you have a crush on any of us? _ ” He chuckles, “I mean Oikawa kind of did later, he just said that  _ he was sorry but he was unavailable at the moment _ , but you know him..."

"And you mean that we should have? We should have been reacting like jerks when you came out to us?"

Makki is smiling but his face is red. "No... I don't know... I'd probably wouldn't have answered anyway. The thing is Mattsun, now I have to tell you that story."

“Which story?” Mattsun is still very lost.

Makki’s eyes flutter as he says, “The story of my coming out… to myself.”

"I'm listening." Mattsun whispers he doesn’t really know why.

"Well, you see, I knew I was gay when, one day in middle school, that kid who was way too tall for a middle schooler, with his I-don't-care-what-people-think-about-me attitude came to me and told me that even if Oikawa seemed cool, I shouldn't fall in his trap because the guy believed so hard he was an alien that sometimes he dressed his dog as a ghost with a white sheet with two holes in it and asked him to take him home while pretending it was E.T.” Makki is beaming. “I laughed so hard that day I almost peed my pants."

Mattsun is still lost, he vaguely remembers that story, and yes it  _ is  _ funny, but not  _ that  _ funny. By now they all know what a huge dork Oikawa is, he has always been into aliens it’s ridiculous, but this is no news. Mattsun can't figure what it has to do with all of this anyway, they all have plenty of embarrassing stories about him now, about all of them honestly and…

Oh…

_ Oh _ .

"Wait, that was me?! I told you that story! You mean-"

Makki huffs, "Yeah, I mean you were my first gay panic, Matsukawa Issei."

As often in their relationship Mattsun doesn't know what to say, so he says nothing and instead leans toward his friend, closes his eyes and presses a light kiss to Makki's lips. It's soft and warm, it makes his heart beating fast and his head buzz. When he leans back and opens his eyes he sees Makki with his own eyes closed chasing after his lips for another kiss. Mattsun finds it adorable but says nothing and when Makki finally opens his eyes he looks hazy and flustered.

"We're cool right?", Mattsun asks with a soft smile.

Makki's face reddens severely when he answers. "Yeah we're more than cool."

"So... What are we doing now?"

"Now..." Makki grabs his hand and starts walking towards the station again. "Now I'm gonna kick your ass at Super Smash Bros."

It takes Mattsun a second to get out of his daze, but then he feels Makki's warm hand in his, and with a light laugh he says. "Not if I kick yours first."

**Author's Note:**

> This fic wouldn't be what it is without the help of the wonderful @kaashiboo and [@myspacebox](https://twitter.com/myspacebox). Actually if you thought something was well written and/or better than the rest, it's probably something they helped me with haha ^^' Go read what they write it's absolutly awesome !  
> Even if he will never see this, I have to thank Panderu aswell for helping me editing.  
> And then, she has no idea about it, but [@Tetsuu_art](https://twitter.com/Tetsuu_art) was actually the one who gave me the inspiration for this fic with her drawings serie of haikyuu characters wearing LGBTQI+ shirts.
> 
> I hope you liked this cute MatsuHana. Come say hi and scream with me about Haikyuu on Twitter [@Bagarella25](https://twitter.com/Bagarella25)


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